Dear World/Internet

Dear World, 

Growing up in the greater Chicagoland area, Oprah has become a well known name throughout my years.  Of course since I am only 22 I never could really watch her show but I have heard of how generous the show has been to so many people.  Now that I know Oprah is in her last season of such a great career in the morning talk shows I have come to realize that I have never heard her discuss one topic.  College Loans.

Myself and many other recent graduates left our Universities back in May 2010 with hopes and dreams of finding that amazing job.  Instead of throwing myself into a corporate position I wanted to taste a bit more of my favorite place in the world, Italy.

But where did this appetite come from?   Well my love of this amazing country began my Sophomore year of college at Miami University.  At that time I was a Zoology major and with that major I had to complete 2 years of a language during my time at school.  After high school I knew my father's native language, Spanish, was not a language I could see myself using in my future.  So I went out on a limb and chose Italian. Yes I knew it was only spoken in Italy but I didn't care less.  This love of Italian language grew into a desire to learn about their culture as well.

So off I went to my study abroad office and instantly I dove into all the programs that are offered throughout the country.  My decision came down to joining the AIFS Richmond University program in Florence, Italy during my spring semester of 2009.  During my time I met amazing people, shared unforgettable experiences, fell in love, and knew that I was to return to Italy many times in my future.

After my semester ended my mother, twin sister and I traveled Italy (mom and I only), Spain, and France together.  I was the last to depart this amazing continent because I wanted to say goodbye to the city and people I loved and cared about in Florence.  I returned home and realized the ticket my University had purchased me was a two way, with one more flight that could lead me back to Italy.  Before I tell you what I did, I want to say I realize I did not handle this the right way at all but I do not regret doing this. 

I was home for 5 days and decided to take a risk and go back.  Not only did I leave home after I had just gotten home, I did not tell anyone.  My 20 year old self left a note to my parents and my Aunt and Uncle who were visiting at the time.  My apologies cannot fix the problems that this has caused to this day but like I said before I do not regret doing this.  After arriving at the airport and passing through security (I was half expecting someone to come running down the hall after me yelling at me to STOP! no one did) I knew that what I was doing was very real.  I called a friend I met in my program from Florence and told her what I was doing and where I was going.  I went back for ten days, it is as simple as that.  I stayed at a hotel and traveled back to my favorite places, Florence, Siena, Cinque Terre, etc.  And I booked my flight home and came back to a family full of emotion.  That summer was one of the most difficult of my life because I almost let go of my love for Italy forever.

Returning to Miami as a Senior, I knew that science and I were not meant to be partnered together.  I had some very serious discussions with professors, and advisors before classes began in the fall of 2009.  There was no way I would allow myself to graduate with a degree I did not have any passion for.  So a few days before courses began I dropped all of my science courses and substituted History courses.  Yep I went from Zoology to History with the click of a mouse and 1 piece of paper.  I threw myself into my new courses over the last year of school.  My experience abroad had completely brought out a new and improved side to myself.  Every opportunity I had to continue learning about my beloved country, I leaped at.   Thankfully my supportive professors were there to guide me every step of the way, and I will forever be eternally grateful to them.

The journey of returning the land and people I loved in Italy, I applied to a teaching position for the summer.  I was able to travel almost every week to small towns tucked into the mountains to large cities like Rome.  The children I worked with were so kind and caring.  They would fall in love with us instantly and saying goodbye was never easy.  Even the families I lived with for such a short time I know I can always come back to them.  The connections I made this past summer were almost magical.  And God knows I miss it.

So now here I am, back in with my parents, working a retail job.  I have over $70,000 in debt that I had to begin paying back this past December.  What I want to know is where do I go from such an amazing experience to a job at a desk in a skyscraper?  I feel as though I am in a limbo, or having a mid life crisis, or just lost again.  My life has hit rewind it seems and I am back to the confusion I was in before I left for Italy.  Out in the USA there are thousands of men and women  like me who have graduated with degrees they loved and want to share with the world but do not know where to turn.  Where do I turn?  Where do we turn?  What happens now?